It’s Amelia Eramya’s fault that I am not cleaning my kitchen right now. However, I can’t blame it all on her. I blame society. I blame technology. Words like multi-tasking, inventions like the Kindle and social media sites like Facebook and Twitter are the culprits. I think a few years ago we would have labeled my affliction as a severe case of attention deficit disorder. Now, we call it “mullti-tasking.”
Tell that to my husband, will ya? Tonight he slipped on a few papers and things I had neatly stacked near the kitchen door. They were in the “need to do tomorrow” pile and the “take to the garage pile.” Now I’ve added a “find Ron’s insurance policy to see if he is covered for injuries sustained from doing the splits in the kitchen” note to my “need to do tomorrow” pile. Problem is, after his gymnastic routine, it’s all mixed up with the garage pile. More work for me.
Things started to go south when I began sorting papers on the table this morning. First I had to make room for more piles. But awwwwww, there was the note to order the lilac Baby Giraffe chenille blanky with the satin edging for Gwenna Rose (my first grandchild who will be born in April). An hour later, after comparison shopping and checking out Ebay for deals, the blanky was ordered and I was back to the piles.
MIPA receipts went in the box to my left. Tax receipts to the right. Whoops. There’s the Overstock.com necklace I ordered last week to match the pink pearl teardrop earrings Ron got me two Christmases ago. Gotta go see if they match. But where are they? Two hours later after finding them in a travel jewelry case I hadn’t unpacked since the National Journalism Convention in November, I was back to the table. Ok, I took a bubble bath, too. I found a brand new bottle of Avon Strawberry under the bed and couldn’t resist.
Geez. Then it was lunchtime. And in order to fix a meal I had to take care of the two cases of veggies I bought on the Meijer food sale last weekend. And where was that receipt? I needed to find it and circle the items I was going to charge to MIPA for the Think Tank. What the hell. I’ll just eat five cold Koegel Vienna hot dogs and worry about the canned goods later. But where’s that receipt? Oh yes. here it is, under my unread People Magazine. Brad and Angelina splitting? No way!
Then there was the incessant chirping of Tweet Deck–and my need to see what was happening, followed by the beep of Microsoft Outlook telling me I had 16 new messages. And then g-mail and c-mich mail and Facebook.
It was close to dinner time when I decided to put the canned goods away. I was losing at Spider Solitaire anyway and I didn’t feel like hitting control z a million times to restart the game without hurting my stats. As I shelved the corn I knocked down 56 little Gordon’s Food cups leftover from last summer when I made jello shots. I could either toss them out or . . .
A trip to the basement for booze and ooooh, there are some of the baby clothes I dragged out of the cedar chest for Jessica to use for Gwenna Rose. And there’s my Kindle. Haven’t read the Detroit News yet today and I AM paying a subscription fee you know.
And then I went up the stairs armed with a bottle of Zen Green Tea liquor (if I look up how to spell the last word in that description it will be another hour), liquer?, the orange Grey Goose–or is it Gray? and the Malibu Coconut Rum. I made the jello shots, cleaned up the mess, took the bottles back to the basement and started this blog.
The kitchen, by the way, still looks like hell.
But it’s midnight now and I know Jim Wojcik will be online.
Tomorrow: Multi-tasking part two.